“We are led to believe birth outcomes is largely determined by ‘prenatal care’ or safe medical management; that belief has made us as a community of women incredibly passive and disconnected. While it is true, we cannot absolutely control the outcome of a birth, we must not believe that we are not without power or influence.” Pam England, CNM, MA, coauthor of Birthing from Within.
For some reason in our culture (there are cultures where this is not the case), when we think of birth, or when we prepare for birth, we tend to focus on how to avoid emergencies, what to do in an emergency and how to cope with pain. We spend so much time thinking and talking about how to relieve pain and how to avoid emergency that we started treating birth as an emergency and often after birth all we can remember is how painful it was on the scale from 1 to 10. Is that really how we want to remember such a beautiful event as entrance of our children into the world?
What if I tell you that we were not designed to suffer during birth, but quite the opposite – to enjoy it? Whether you believe in God or evolution, by our very design our bodies are capable and, I believe, meant to experience pleasure in birth. By learning how to enjoy our bodies we can rediscover the lost in ages “manual”, something what some women long ago knew and lived: birth as a pleasurable experience. If we can do this we can stop fearing birth and start approaching it with anticipation. Then, the births of our children can be remembered with a plethora of great positive emotions!
A few years ago, before I was even pregnant with my first baby, I discovered the documentary and book, Orgasmic Birth. Encountering those ideas changed my life forever. They opened my eyes to this amazing fact: if a woman is not disturbed from following her instincts during birth, her body will produce the same hormones (in the same order, just in a greater amount) as during a good sex. This means that during birth women can experience pleasure of the same degree, and even have the biggest orgasm of their lives as the babies enter the world! Some people say that women who have happened to experience orgasmic birth are just lucky. I don’t believe that. They do something either consciously or unconsciously that others don’t.
During the birth of my first child, I myself experienced something that was in the range of sexual like pleasure… Unfortunately, being a first time mom, I lacked the confidence to seek out the birth experience I had learnt about years ago. I thought that my midwife knew better, and didn’t follow the lead of my body till the end… As I look back on my experience, I now realize how many of us are out there that lack confidence in ourselves, despite the fact that we all feel that nobody knows, what is better for us, than ourselves.
Anyway, what I felt during the birth of my first child, spurred my curiosity even more, so I attended an online Orgasmic Birth summit. After the summit I read the books and authors mentioned during the conference. Encountering all this new information inspired me to win a scholarship to attend the Pain-to-Power Online Childbirth Class organized by Debra Pascali-Bonaro, world-famous doula and the director of the Orgasmic Birth documentary. Even though I had done lots of research at this point (and I was already a mom), this course introduced me to so much valuable knowledge and inspired me to dig even deeper. And I kept discovering sooo many new things that emotions overwhelmed me… When I started sharing my new knowledge with friends, barely anyone knew even a slight part of the exciting information I had discovered. Something clicked in me… I came to a realization: I am so passionate about this topic, I can talk about it for hours and barely anyone knows about it! I knew I needed to find a way to share this information with more people, so I came up with the idea to create this website.
“Birth with Pleasure” is the perfect name for a website where I can share my blog posts as well as information about my future classes and workshops.
Beyond sharing with you all online what I’ve learned, I also decided to become a doula – another way to educate and support women. Being a doula would also allow me to help women create the most amazing joyful and possibly ecstatic memory of the most beautiful miraculous event of their lives – the birth of their children.
Who said that women were punished to give birth in pain and suffering? Definitely not God. This myth was created by people who wanted to control us and keep us in pain, misery and guilt. We are amazing. Our bodies are an endless miracle with capacities that have not been well-studied. (And even when those capacities have been studied, those discoveries have not been communicated to the majority of us.) I’m here to help you to learn something about yourself that will make your life a bit more wonderful!
Someone said, “Thoughts influence our actions, actions create habits, habits become our life style. ” My biggest hope is that with this website and my future workshops, I will be able to contribute to a shift from the modern fear-based birth paradigm toward a joyful one, contribute to a change in your thoughts and your habit of thinking about birth in a way that brings you to a better experience.
My classes and workshops are still not ready. It takes time to create class materials and the course structure. However, if you are curious already, just send me your questions and thoughts by email. Who knows, maybe your messages will become an inspiration for my next post!
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